Favorite recipes of 2011

I love to cook, I have a picky husband and a picky 5 year old, and then there's me and my 3 year old that are the "garbage disposals" of the family! We eat just about everything :) Although, he is starting to pick up on some of the habits of his older brother, so I will be out numbered soon in the attempt of trying new, tasty, people pleasing dinners!
I tried a lot of new recipes toward the end of the year, between the wonderful site Pinterest.com, recipes from friends, and my own personal experimenting... Some were misses and some were HITS!

Starting with the best...

Mexican Stuffed Shells
Pound of ground beef
4 oz. softened cream cheese
taco seasoning
salsa
taco sauce
salsa
Jumbo pasta shells
Shredded cheese

I am a huge taco bell fan, so when it comes to taco seasoning that's always my go-to, and when looking for taco sauce the first time I made this recipe they were completely out in the wonderful small town walmart here lol... Turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because I stumbled upon something I had never seen before, Taco Bell Mild sauce in the bottle!!! Best store find of 2011 I must say :) Of course on a following trip to walmart I had the opposite result, with the taco bell resteraunt sauce no where to be found, and I ended up using normal red taco sauce. So whatever you preffer is equally yummy!
So you cook up the ground beef like your making regular tacos, brown it, follow the taco seasoning instructions, which usually requires adding the seasoning and water and let simmer. THEN you add in the cream cheese and heat until all blended, let that cool for a minute.
Meanwhile you should be boiling up your pasta ( I always add oil to my pot of water, to prevent noodles sticking) Boil those up, drain, and let cool.
Put a thin layer of salsa in your baking dish. Then fill the pasta shells with your meat filling. Drizzle your taco sauce over the stuffed shells, cover with tin foil, and bake at 350 degrees for 25mins. Then remove foil, add your shredded cheese and cook for another 15 minutes uncovered.
I serve with refried beans, sourcream, and green onion... But that's just my mexican dish staple :) Enjoy!

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Buffalo Ranch Chicken Sandwiches
Definitely fell in love with my crock pot all over again the last few months of 2011, got a little addicted to new recipes for it.
We loved these spicy sandwiches! They pack some heat, I recall describing it to my husband as like that "hot cheeto" heat, you know? That heat that's addictive and delicious, not the heat that ruins the meal. You can also use less of the sauce if you are wimp like my mom ;)

3 or 4 chicken breasts
Franks redhot Buffalo sauce
Hidden Valley Ranch "Dips" Seasoning
2 Tbsp butter
Hoagie rolls

Just throw your chicken (frozen or thawed) into the crock pot, pour your bottle of buffalo sauce and ranch seasoning into the crock pot and cook on low for 6-8 hours. About an hour before my husband was due home I took out each breast and shredded on a plate and added it back into the pot to soak up all that yummy sauce, add the 2 tbsp on butter and let cook a little longer. We loved this sandwich dipped in ranch dresing (Best ranch is the Hidden Valley dressing seasoning, 1 cup milk, 1 cup mayo... delish)
Definitely made my 3 and 5 year olds a seperate meal that night, but it was yummy all the same!

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Pork Tacos
My husband often goes on "chicken strike"... I favor chicken a little, you can do so much with it, you can buy it in a big cheap package and well it's just easy and yummy... however I have to make sure to divide up the chicken nights with some beef and pork, as my husband gets chickened out pretty easy :)
I loved my chicken taco recipe, however I figured I would try pork out to change it up. Found this recipe on Pinterest and it turned out yummy!
The recipe called for a 1lb pork tenderloin, however I had no luck finding one at walmart that wasn't already seasoned. So a pork roast worked just fine.

1lb. pork tenderloin or roast
1 12oz jar salsa (or 15 oz tomato sauce) I used salsa and a little left over tomato sauce I had in the fridge.
1 Tbsp chili powder
1 Tbsp cumin
1 Tbsp brown sugar
1/2 Tsp salt
3 cloves minced garlic

Throw the pork in the crock pot, mix all the other ingredients up in a bowl and pour over your pork. Cook on low for 8hours, and serve on tortillas and your favorite toppings.

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Italian Chicken and pasta
4 chciken breasts
1 pack zesty Italian dressing seasoning
8 oz. cream cheese softened
2 cans of cream of chicken

Throw it all in, cook on low for 6 hours (If sauce is too thick add milk) And serve over pasta. So easy and so yummy!!!

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Salsa chicken
1 lb chicken breast
1 can cream of chicken
1 cup salsa
1 pkg taco seasoning
1 cup sourcream

Place chicken, soup, salsa, and taco seasoning in crock pot and cook on low for 6hours. I shredded it up a little and let cook some more. Right before dinner time add in the sourcream and heat until blended. Serve over rice and it is DELISH!

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Bacon cheese chicken

So I definitely had chicken in the freezer with no plans for it (The OCD radar must have had a delay that week). But it led to me to just wing something and it turned out yummy. I defrosted the chicken in warm water. they were larger breasts so I halved them just to get more out of it. I flattened them out by pounding on them inside the ziplock bag. hammered them out flat, and then added some Bbq sauce, a few splashes of Teryiaki sauce, and a couple squirts of dijion mustard. Primarily I used the bbq to be safe ;) let them marinate for a couple hours, then I preheated the oven to 350 degrees while I pulled out each flattened marinated breast, I had in the fridge some of that precooked bacon (the kind you can just throw in the microwave) and some misc packs of cheese (a provolone slice and some shredded mozzerella) So in each breast I layed a couple slices of the cold bacon and some cheese. rolled it up as tight as I could (which wasn't very tight at all) and used 2 toothpicks in each one to hold it in place. Then I put all the chicken rolls into a asserole dish and cooked uncovered for 30-40 minutes. Whipped up some homeade mashed potatoes and boy oh boy was it yummy! For something that had no recipe and was simply improvised with what I had on hand it was a hit! Definitely an accident I will be repeating :)

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Corn Dip
This is my favorite dip in the whole wide world! Got this recipe from a good friend back in Texas and I get so excited when I get to make it for pot lucks or parties. My husband has yet to try it because he is picky to the ingredients, but everyone else that has tried it has given much praise! I could eat this everyday! lol.

3 cans of mexican corn
1 cup mayo
2 cups sourcream
1 cup cilantro
lots of chopped green onion
1 jalepeno diced
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cayanne pepper
1 tsp lemon juice
1 2cup pkg of fiesta blend shredded cheese

Best made the night before.
For more heat you can add more jalepeno and cayanne pepper.

SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!
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I defintiely enjoyed these new recipes, and it's like once you find one good new one, you need more new ones! lol. So these among the normal usual dinners we are used to we've added these into the mix permanently :) Pinterest brought me to the pizza casserole, my first hack at brocolli and cheese soup, a yummy egg, potatoe and meat breakfast that cooks in the crock pot all night (we tried this out christmas morning), a yummy baked ziti recipe, and bacon ranch chicken mac n cheese.

One of my favorite holiday treats that come to find out my husband has never had... so I'm not sure if he doesn't remember trying them, or if it's really been that long since I've made them. But the classic recipe from chex...

Snow Buddies
9 cups of chex cereal
3 cups of powdered sugar
1 cup semi sweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup peanut buetter
1/4 cup butter
1/4 tsp vanilla

Pour cereal into large bowl and set aside. Combine chocolate chips, peanut butter, vanilla, and butter into microwave safe bowl and microwave until melted. Cover cereal with chocolate mixture and stir until all coated. Then I get a freezer bag and pour hald the powdered sugar into it and half the coated chex and shake until covered with sugar, and empy into serving bowl, then I do the remaining half. (splitting it made it easier for me personaly) Regardless it's a simple yummy treat that I love around the holidays :)

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The best recipe and most simple one this past christmas was by far the one consisting of a pkg of Swiss Miss hot chocolate a couple heaping handfuls of mini marshmellows, 2 straws and my 3 year old :) It was his first time trying hot chocolate and we enjoyed it together over a big pyrex glass :) Was some of the good stuff :) Easy recipe for happiness!

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Wishing everyone a happy and yummy 2012!
Tonight on the menu is my favorite recipe from my mom (aside from the best enchilladas) is pork and rice pillaf :) One of the great ones that all my picky eaters will inhale!

Land of the free... Because of the brave!

It's been 11 months since my last post, so being a little busy with the many changes in life is an understatement... The biggest thing to happen to my family since last year would have to be our separation from the Military life.
This happened back in March of 2011, but it wasn't until 2 months ago that I felt the full effect of transitioning back into the real world...

Prior to August 2007 If you asked me what the military was or what they did I honestly wouldn't have been able to tell you a single thing, which looking back is very sad. I knew that my grandpa was buried at a veteran's memorial, and that I lived right next to Nellis Air force base, where my dad took me for a couple golf lessons. And that was about the extent of anything I knew about the armed forces, and all that they did. Even after the tragedy of September 11Th I had no idea what that meant for our country and the men and women that served it. It wasn't until my boyfriend of three and a half years and I decided that we needed a completely different life, in a completely different place... and well, that's exactly what we got. We got married, celebrated our son's first birthday, and after testing, contracts, and 4 months of training we were officially a military family. And at 21 years old, a baby in tow and a new adventure ahead we moved to Fort Hood, TX... for the first time away from everything we knew. 6 months later my husband was deployed to Iraq, while I gave birth to our 2Nd son, and a year and 3 months later he was deployed again.
Through our 4 years with the Army and stationed in Texas I found this whole new world... I saw first hand what the military was and everything it entailed and it changed me forever. Where every one's husband is either coming or going, where women take care of their children on their own, work, send care packages, attend FRG meetings, clean the house, and somehow keep their composure and a smile on their face. The friends that I made at fort hood are like NO OTHER! the bond that you form when you are going through this whole new life is remarkable. Those genuine, selfless women that are there for each other and give each other the strength during the darkest of hours. That will come to your house at the drop of a hat with medicine for you sick child, that will come to your house with what you need because you just got home from having a baby and are all by yourself, that will pick up the phone every time you call, weather it's to laugh about your crazy life, or cry because you haven't the slightest clue how you're even making it through it. The support system you have is one of a kind. You can call them to watch your kids and not feel bad or feel like you have to pay them, because you know that you'll be returning the favor in the near future, especially when R&R and homecomings roll around ;)
Military life is a whole other world and something that I never would have understood without actually experiencing it. The sacrifices that the men and women make for their country is truly extraordinary. Every missed holiday, anniversary, birthday, milestone, birth of a child... is all for their duty and for what they believe in, and what they've been trained to do. The bonds that your husband makes while in the military are like no other, and the bonds that the families make are ones to last a lifetime. Even if I never see my close friends from Texas ever again for the rest of my life, I can whole hearted say that they will have a solid special place in my heart forever.
As we close out of a month where we have reflected what we are thankful for and been grateful for the many things in our lives I just want to take a minute to say how grateful I am for my experience as an army wife, for my husband coming home safely every time he had to leave, for the amazing friends that I made and will always treasure, the strength that experience has given me to take on the rest of my life.
There are things that I miss about the military life, and things that I don't miss... but when all is said and done it taught me so much that gives me a huge amount of strength and confidence to handle everything life throws at me from here on out. Weather it's planned or unexpected, transitioning out of the military life is far from an easy task, but to know what you're capable of and have survived makes it all that much easier to (as another strong woman I admire likes to say) "Keep calm & Carry on". The hard times always pass, and life goes on. We live and learn and somehow come through okay. I will always be thankful for what the last 4 years have taught me and my family, the unforgettable people we've met along the way, and the strong family and friends that stuck by us through it all.
I will always be patriotic and have pride in our country, and appreciative to everyone that serves it. Grateful for the families that hold the glue together back home and support their brave soldiers. We are forever in your debt and you are always in my prayers!
As I close this chapter of my life and keep the many things I've learned and grown from, I am thankful for the last 4 years, and thankful for the future that lies ahead... and that whole other world of incredible people that make it possible.


♥When the good Lord was creating military spouses, He was into His sixth day of overtime. An Angel appeared and said, "You're having a lot of trouble on this one. What's wrong with the standard model?"
The Lord replied, "Have you ever seen the regulations? It has to be completely independent, must be sponsored to get on base, have the qualities of both mother and father during deployments; Be a perfect hostess to 4 or 40, handle emergencies without military orders, cope with the flu and move around the world, have a kiss that cures anything from a child's torn valentine to a soldier's weary day, have the patience of a saint when waiting for the unit to return stateside, and have six pairs of soft hands." The Angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pair of hands? No way!" And the Lord answered, "Don't worry. We'll make other military spouses to help. Besides, it's not the hands that are causing the problem - it's the heart. It must swell with pride, sustain the ache of separation, beat soundly when it's too tired to do so, be large enough to say 'I understand' when it doesn't, and say 'I love you,' regardless."
"Lord," said the Angel, touching his sleeve gently, "go to bed. You can finish that tomorrow." "I can't," said the Lord. "I'm too close to creating something unique. Already I have one who can heal itself when sick, feed unexpected guests who are stuck in the area due to bad weather, and wave goodbye to its spouse from a pier or runway and understand it's important to the country that the spouse leave." The Angel circled the model of the military spouse very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed. "But tough," the Lord said excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this being can do or endure!" "Can it think?" the Angel asked. "Can it think? It can convert 1400 to 2 p.m.!" the Lord said. Finally, the Angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model." "It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear." "What's it for?" asked the Angel. "It's for joy, sadness, pain, loneliness and pride," the Lord said. "You're a genius," said the Angel. The Lord looked somber and said, "I didn't put it there." ♥

"Should auld acquaintance be forgot..."

This has been a very crazy year for me. As soon as it began I wanted it to be over, It started out very challenging and hard, full of questions, uncertainties and doubts. But it's funny how when all is lost and you are faced with some of the most unexpected things, how somehow you find yourself, in a way that you never saw before. You learn, you strive, and honestly you sometimes suprise yourself. I spent some time lost, confused, and with lack of faith, then found things in myself that I forgot was there, I acheived things that I forgot I was capable of, and I learned a little more about myself and my life.
And then things became clear, and while that aspect became easier, a lot of other things became harder. But I learned that it is okay, We sometimes have to endure difficult things to have what we want, and it takes pain, sweat, and hardwork, but if you want it, you can have it.
I've learned that I can take one hell of a hit, and that we may get blindsided and knocked down by life, while it takes us a second to regain our balance, what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger and as sure as we were all put here for a reason, we can stand up and take one step at a time.
Life is hard, and the hardest thing about it is love. My heart has been broken, taped back together, and then put to the test this year. I've learned a lot about unconditional love, the kind of love that can withstand some mighty blows, but finds a way to remain. We all have our short comings, life challenges us, and at one point or another, we fail. That love is tested, and even if we go through other emotions such as pain, anger, betrayal, hatred, pitty, loneliness... when you come out of the dark tunnel, and you still have love, and your both still standing, well then I guess you have all that matters.

I've learned that people will not have a clue about something, but yet still have an opinion. They will feel that they know, and feel that they have a place to speak on things that they are pretty much oblivious to, and that's fine, because just like they are uneducated conclusions, they have no weight where it counts and don't really matter at all. The people that have listened and been confided in will no the facts, and in those special individuals you will see no judgment or sentiment in
their eyes, but all that you need... which is support.
I've learned that there is a lot of ugly in the world, there are people that judge others and make others feel less than worthy, they steriotype, protest, and harbor hatred, because of either race, religion, or who they choose to love. Weather your opinion is supported by the bible, the news, or your own personal self righteousnes, you will find that if you spend a little less time worrying about what everyone else is doing, maybe you would be able to focus on your own imperfections and find more
happiness in your own life. There are bad people in all shapes colors and forms, and everyone will be judged at their own time for their decisions in life, and no one else on this earth is qualified to make that judgment.

I've learned alot about forgiveness this year, I've learned that finding forgiveness is hard, but the most benefitial thing in your life. We have all been done wrong,
we all have many reasons to be hurt, angry, and hold a grudge. Forgiveness doesn't mean that it just goes away, or that it hurts any less, I have found that forgiveness is learning to accept the things that have happened and that can not be changed, not giving that negativity any power in your life anymore, and moving forward. Doesn't mean that it never happened or that you forget, but that it doesn't effect your decisions, the way you feel, or the way you love. It's just freeing yourself of the negative effect and leaving with the knowledge and lesson learned.

Revenge is a waste, the best revenge is not with retaliation... But with the fact that someone tried to fuck with you, and it didn't even phase you... Being happy
and still having everything you need leaves more of a bad taste in someones mouth, than you aknowledging their efforts and giving them the time of day.

This year was the hardest one yet, but now that I have reached the end of it I see all that I have gotten from it. I was tested and I am stronger because of it, my marriage and family was tested and it is stronger now because of it.
I was faced with another deployment this year, and while they don't get easier, there is always room to become stronger.
I have so much pride in my heart for what my husband does for his family and the sacrifices he makes for this country. I hope that after this year, he knows how proud
and happy he has made me. Our road hasn't been an easy one, but my heart is so full of love at times that it makes my chest tingle, I can still talk to him for hours and hours at a time, and there is no one in this world that I am more myself with and that knows me better than this man. He has my heart, and he's the only one that I will ever trust with it.

I landed my dream job this year! I inquired on it lightly, and got a suprise when it all fell into place. I begin teaching dance this January, and I am so excited to be doing something that I truly love and have a passion for. It will not only be an outlet for me, and an opportunity for me to do something that I haven't been able to do for the past 6 years, but it will bring me work that I can have happiness and joy in. I am nervous, anxious, excited, and most of all, happy.
A year that started out awful, got better, then worse, and then finaly to a wonderful place. It was challenging and stressful, but the ultimate reward is at the end feeling satisfied, happy,and at peace.
I have 2 little boys that are my world, they are hard work, and know how to drive me crazy, but the joy that they have brought me seems to make the rest fade away. I have the constent job as a mother and army wife, and that is the most important job I could ever have.
This next year will bring opportunities, continuous joy, and more changes... we have one more year left in the military, and that might be the end of that chapter. And we're hoping to start a new chapter that doesn't involve any more goodbyes. But with anything, especially things in the military, there are still decisions to make and a lot between then and now. There will be much to do this year, much to celebrate, much to be thankful for, and I just hope that I continue to remember that through it all. Aside from a couple resolutions, most of all I just want to enjoy this next year. Enjoy the little moments and take none of it for granted.
I feel healthy, content, happy, and loved... I don't think there is much more I could ask for from this year.

Return to me....

Another deployment, another goodbye, another long year... I was mistaken to think that it would actually be in any way easier then the first time. It might even be worse, the hole in my chest, the burning eyes from crying all day. He told me that the longer I held it together the longer he would be able to, but how am I supposed to hold it together when the love of my life is breaking down the day that he has to leave his wife and children.
I am so proud of this man, I have been with him for almost 7years and over the many changing aspects of our life together he has been my rock, the provider for our family, and now our 4 year old calls him his Hero. It's bittersweet, I am overwhelmed with Pride and love, but at the same time with loss and sadness. I said this after the last goodbye and I will say it again,"I am at the bottom of the barrell right now, this is day one, every day after this is just one more day closer and will only get better". This year will be filled with frustrations and challenges, but the one thing that I want to always remember is that whatever I am facing will pass, and focus on the day that is soon to come where the only thing that matters is that my husband is coming home. A dish that doesn't get washed or an errand that doesn't get ran will be nothing compared to my husband coming home from Iraq and in my arms again. That's what's going to get me through every day, and that's what I'm most looking forward to. I must not dwell on the absence of my husband, but excited for him to come back!
How do you take enough pictures of moments that mean the world to you and images that you will be clinging to for the next year? How many times can you tell someone that you love them to where you actually feel that they have any idea of how much you really do love them? How do you give somebody the biggest hug and kiss you can in hopes that they somehow feel the love and desire you are feeling? How do you explain to your 4year old that you're not just saying "goodbye dad, i'll see you when you get off" and tell him that he needs to give his daddy a hug big enough to last him a year? How do you tell someone to stay safe and come back to me, when you have no idea the danger that may lie ahead? How do you say thank you to a man for taking on this courageous duty that a lot of people wouldn't, and while you've never been so proud, it kills you that you can't ask him to stay.
I woke up this morning in the arms of the man that I love more than he will ever truly understand, and tonight I will cuddle up with blankets, cry, pray, get as much rest as I can and then start my day tomorrow. Unfortunetly the world doesn't stop turning and there are still things that have to get done weather I am sad or not.
Some people say that being a military spouse is the hardest job there is, Some will say that we all just sit on our couch for a year eating bon-bons.... Either way you look at it I will spend the next year away from my husband, I will be a single parent, taking care of the bills, house work, children, and whatever else the world throws my way. And I will do it with a smile on my face, love in my heart, and strength that I have, that my husband has given me, and that our friends and family contribute. I've got a lot planned to keep me busy and motivated and positive, and that's all I can really do right now.
I sent my husband off to war today, with a long letter, pictures of our family, and a gaurdian angel pin that will be protecting him for another year. He is my hero the love of my life, and things will not be complete until he is back in my arms.

...but the greatest of these is love

So I am beginning "The love dare". This is something that I started about a year ago, got half way through and never finished. It's something that I am really inspired by and something that I think every married couple should do at some point in their relationship, the book says " Whether your marriage is hanging by a thread or healthy and strong, the love dare is a journey you need to take. I love reading about how people work, and the many things that we forget about when it comes to love. It reminds me that it's not this perfect painted picture, it's not a fairytale, it is a constant work in progress. Right now is a perfect time in my life for me to take this journey...

"The scriptures say that god designed and created marriage as a good thing. It is a beautiful, priceless gift. He uses marriage to help us eliminate loneliness, multiply our effectiveness, establish families, raise children, enjoy life, and bless us with relational intimacy. But beyond this, marriage also shows us our need to grow and deal with our own issues and self-centeredness through the help of a lifelong partner. If we are teachable, we will learn to do the one thing that is most important in marriage - to love. This powerful union provides the path for you to learn how to love another imperfect person unconditionally. It is wonderful. It is difficult. It is life changing."


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-A senior spouse was asked how they had managed to stay married for so long. The answer was that they didn't fall out of love at the same time; that there was always one of them who was ready, willing and able to work and make them succeed.


"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine


"We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find."


"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
-Helen Keller


"Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essense."
-Vincent van Gogh


"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."
-Mark Twain


"You have to keep creating a marriage. We talk about everything. We grow and change together, because nothing ever stays the same; you've got to continue evolving."
-Kelly Preston


"A deal is a deal. To me, that just says it all. Marriage is for keeps."
-Courtney Cox Arquette


"Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, it’s the middle that counts the most…you need to remember that when you find yourself at the beginning. Give hope a chance to float up."
-Hope floats

Happily ever after... and then some...

I am officially convinced that marriage is a giant work in progress... It is never perfect and the job is never done. There are times when you are so in love that you would shout it from the roof tops if you could... and then there's times when you just want your spouse to leave you the heck alone! It's so very hard, between children, housework, demanding work schedules, bills and finances and then whatever other random BS life throws on your plate it's very hard to steal the quality time, to take a breath and not be short tempered and irritable.

It was recently proven to me that life does in fact have dissapointments, and those heartbreaks are sometimes from the ones you trust the most. In one moment everything you know and everything that you've built can be pulled out from beneath you, put into a blender set on puree, and then handed back to you like "Tada!" and you're just like... "dude, WTF just happened?!" Then you get to learn some things about yourself, you get to build your self worth, you get to think about things that you have overlooked for years, you find out what you're truly capable of under pressure and hard times, and you absolutely amaze yourself.

So then you are asked with the question, what is worth more than time and pain? what is worth going back on things you may have sworn to in the past? The commitment and relationship that you vowed to stand strong by till your death... Thats when you pick up your mish-mashed life and you throw it in the mixer again, taking all of the lessons that you've learned and trauma you've overcome and you decide to push forward... completely based on faith... faith is believing in more than you know, more than what you've seen and been through. Believing that when there is faiure, lies, and heartbreak... that if you want it bad enough and you feel it in your soul, that you can have trust, love and happiness.

I believe that people make mistakes, I believe that there is weakness and deceite in the world... but it only has as much power as you give it. And that ugliness has no power in my life anymore.
It is a constent battle, you try not to be nieve to the truth, you have to have acceptance and forgivness. And it is a whole series of fears, fear of what has happened, fear of what you will never know, and fear of the future. What's amazing though is that under all of these emotions and fears and complication... there is one constant... LOVE.

When you buy a car, you sign the papers, get the keys... Is the process then done? Far from it, you must keep up on oil changes, engine repairs, new tires, car washes, constent constent maintenance... If you don't keep up on these things, your car will breakdown... as will your relationship without the proper attention and maintenance. YES lmao, I just compared marriage to a car :)

It's hard, there will always be obstacles to overcome, hardships that you must make it through, life changes that will challenge you and push you to the max, But when you are sitting by this person that you have been to hell and back with, and seen the impossible with, broken eachother's hearts and then put them back together... and you still sit together on a couch both wanting the same thing, still in love, and you still have the fight... than who's to say that anything is impossible.